Conscious Discipline Podcast – Setting Healthy Boundaries

Listen Here –

Episode Summary

Setting healthy boundaries is a vital skill that protects our identities and self-esteem. Without healthy boundaries, we open the door for others to determine our thoughts, feelings, and needs, losing a sense of self. Strong boundaries give us the confidence to make our own choices without yielding to a sense of sacrifice or obligation.

Lessons about boundaries begin early in life, first with our parents and then with our peers. Adult upset language becomes a child’s self-regulatory voice, which in turn sets the child’s boundaries. Attempting to teach children who they should be, what they should think, and how they should feel creates unhealthy boundaries. In addition, helping children create healthy boundaries requires that we model healthy boundaries ourselves.

Listen in as Master Instructor Jill Molli and her daughter, college freshman Meg Molli, share their experiences with setting healthy boundaries. While Jill has sometimes struggled with healthy boundaries, especially around work, Meg is not easily influenced by outside forces. The mother-daughter duo discusses why this difference exists, how Meg sets effective boundaries, and how Jill has learned to do the same through conscious effort. You’ll also hear tips on how you can set and strengthen your own boundaries.

Essential Takeaways

  • Healthy boundaries protect us from manipulation, violation, and being used. They express our values of respect and responsibility, keeping us safe because they allow us to separate who we are and what we think from the thoughts and feelings of others.
  • The adult’s upset language becomes the child’s internal self-regulatory voice, which in turn sets the child’s internal boundaries.
  • Parenting or teaching that tells a child who they should be, what they should think, and how they should feel creates unhealthy boundaries. Unhealthy boundaries can also stem from fear: fear of abandonment, being judged, losing the relationship, or hurting another’s feelings.
  • Keys to healthy boundaries include confidence and the ability to notice, name, and manage your feelings.
  • Steps For Tomorrow
    • It’s important to be in touch with and own your feelings, or you will try to take on and manage the feelings of others. Practice noticing and naming your feelings. This builds your awareness of what you think, feel, and need.
    • Once you can notice and name your feelings, you can regulate your inner speech and calm yourself in moments of upset. This process is helpful in setting boundaries without being overwhelmed by worries or fear of how others will react.
    • Reach out to your connection network when you need extra support. Knowing that you need help and asking for it is another form of healthy boundary.

    Important Links

    Product Mentions

    Show Outline 

    • :30 What is Conscious Discipline?
    • 1:05 What are healthy boundaries and why are they important?
    • 4:08 Internal and external boundaries
    • 7:37 Introduction of special guests Jill and Meg Molli
    • 10:20 Jill and Meg’s different approaches to setting boundaries
    • 18:36 Confidence as a factor in setting healthy boundaries
    • 25:50 Inner speech and healthy boundaries
    • 27:40 Naming and taming emotions
    • 38:30 Reaching out for support
    • 43:16 Recap: Tips for setting healthy boundaries
    • 46:25 What’s Becky up to?
    • 46:48 What’s Becky celebrating?

    Thank You for Listening

Free Event – Texas Early Childhood Learning Summit July 10-12, 2019 at the Marriott Marquis in Houston

TEA is excited to announce registration is open to public prekindergarten staff for the Texas Early Childhood Learning Summit on July 10-12, 2019 at the Marriott Marquis in Houston.

Please click the Registration Link and select “Attendee (ISD)” as “Reg Category”. From the drop box select your school district’s name.

Spots are limited – register soon!

Complete all the information requested. An email confirmation will be sent to the email you denoted within 24 hours of registering. Please ensure that you check all inbox folders, including junk/spam.

Hotel reservations will be made from the link provided in the email confirmation. Please ensure that you read the email confirmation in its entirety.

If you have any questions about registration, please contact TECL Summit Staff at

Region 13 staff does not handle registration, please direct all questions to TECL staff.

Can’f find the time to teach science? Come learn how literature can jump start your next Science Lesson!

Join Cynthia Holcomb, as we take a look at life science using engaging picture books that address the PK Guidelines and TEKS for organisms, ecosystems, and life cycles. Each story will be followed by Pk Guidelines and TEKS-aligned science activities and investigations, as well as strategies to promote literacy skills. Science is so much fun when you can find it right in your bookshelf!

Science Book Frenzy: Looking at Living Things Pk – 2nd Workshop ID: SP1940876

March 4th, 2019


Register Here: